Things Undone

Every now and then my mind wanders to a really dark place, and in that place we all find the list… the list of things we wish we had done. Therein we find the list of apologies that we never got around to, the list of letters we wish we had written. We’ll read the list of the things we wish we had tried and certainly the things we wish we had never tried.

When I was very young, I dreamed I would write and create stories that would capture the imagination of myriad readers. I wrote all sorts of stories from the time I was in 5th grade through 8th grade. When I was in 8th grade, however, I did something bold and brash. I shared. I wrote a story and had it published in the school newspaper. It was serialized for several issues.. and then I stopped working on it. At that point in time, another student in my journalism class decided to “fill in” and take over my serialized story. My big mistake at that ripe old age of 12 was using real names. I used my name. I used the names of my friends. I used this story as a vehicle to try to be cool. When I gave up control of the story, my classmate decided to mock me, and turned me into a buffoonish character. Maybe I had it coming, maybe I didn’t. I was a target for him, and I allowed it to happen.

Maybe that was the experience that caused me to set aside a dream.
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Maybe it’s time for me to get over it.