It is Wednesday! 25 January 2023… and I just realized that I forgot to post something last night for work. Guess what I’m going to do just as soon as I’m done with this little blurb?

Yesterday was a good day. I’m glad I wrote yesterday’s post about validation. I’m 59, and it’s about time I validate myself. I have great people around me, a supportive family, and wise friends that remind me that I have value and I am accepted. They all know I blurt out stuff at the most inappropriate times, and others overlook my flaws and recognize that I do more good than bad.

I’m complicated.

As I have shared, I’m taking January off from consuming alcohol. This has led me to more introspection, and some realization about the way this mass of gray matter lodged in my skull reacts. I dive into articles about neurodiversity and ADHD, and I recognize the people and the symptoms… it’s me. I’ve flipped subjects so many times in my head during the course of a regular conversation – you all might be familiar with that idea – somebody says something about a topic, that topic leads to something else, and that, something else as well. By the time a person gets something in their head that they blurt out, that person is fourteen interrelated topics down the road, and no one has any clue how they traveled from point A to an obscure landmark in the Lepton Ovula galaxy in an unknown parallel universe.

I have done that more times than I can count.

Today I get back into my virtual classroom for lab support for a couple of hours, then prep. This afternoon I have office hours to talk with our learners about their progress, fielding questions that span three weeks of content.

I love my career.

It’s kind of amazing how we fall into certain careers. I’ve always enjoyed working with computers and showing people what they can do. I’ve joked around for years that my job is to learn stuff, then tell people what I’ve learned. Hopefully, I can present that info in a fashion that folks can understand, and if I can make them smile in the process, that’s another win.

Thanks for reading my stuff. This has all been therapeutic, and it’s a record for my granddaughter and other grandkids that might add to whatever legacy I leave behind.

My first grandchild arrives in about 6 weeks. Her name will by Evelyn.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

Good morning… well, “good” might be subjective, but in my time zone, at least the concept of “morning” isn’t subject to debate.

It is 5:53 AM in the midwest, this 24th day of January 2023, one week remaining in the first month of the year.

For a few days now, a word has been at the top of mind – the word “validation”. “Validation” has to do with something or someone being perceived as valid, legal, or acceptable. For me, the word definitely applies to “acceptable”. This is one of those things that I think about when I’m not drinking.

Taking a month off from drinking sends my brain to weird places.

I moved as a kid. When I was four, we moved from Sioux City, Iowa to Topeka, Kansas. Three years later, Omaha, Nebraska. Six months after that, Kansas City, Missouri. One year after that, Salina, Kansas. Three years after that, a move from one part of Salina to another, changing schools, and once again starting over trying to make friends. That move was impactful, as I had transitioned from elementary school to junior high, then between 7th and 8th grade I not only changed residence from living in town to living rural, I went from one junior high to the cross-town rival. One year at that junior high, and I transitioned to high school. 7 different schools in 9 years.

Every time I made a move, I tried to fit it. I said silly kid stuff and did silly kid things to try and make friends. I was seeking validation. In retrospect, I think I did a lot of things to try and get along, whether it was playing sports (modest results) or get involved in theater (great experience, but still very much a “look at me” validation experience).

Whether it was sports, theater, radio, stand-up comedy, or even my current career as a technical trainer, so much of my life has been spent simply trying to be accepted by groups of peers.

These days, I stick to my classes and my work peer groups for the most part. Whether it’s a case of growing up or simply not caring as much, I’ve put much of my need for validation in the rearview mirror. I think these days, at 59, I would rather be honest and say what is on my mind and how I really feel than try to fit in or get along.

But I still have lapses where I focus on trying to make a joke or say something in a particular way to draw attention to myself. Now I am trying to catch myself and check myself before I say something silly.

I know. I’m weird.

But at least I’m thinking about the things I can do to make myself a better person. That doesn’t mean I’ll succeed, but I hope my goals are aligned with something positive – acceptable… valid?

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

Monday! Monday! Monday! It is 23 January 2023, and as I have shared with you before, I usually write my blog during the week and take the weekend off.

My sports fan weekend had mixed results, with Kansas coming up way short against TCU on Saturday’s early game, but the NFL playoff results went just fine. Kansas City knocked off the Jacksonville Jaguars on Saturday, 27-20. Yesterday the Cincinnati Bengals knocked off the Buffalo Bills… not that I’m a fan of either the Bengals or Bills, but here’s the thing… if the Bills win, the Chiefs-Bills game would’ve been played at a neutral site. The Bengals won, and they have to play at Arrowhead Stadium, home of the Chiefs.

Now, granted… the Bengals have beaten the Chiefs the last three times they have played, and the Bengals were pretty vocal about it. There’s a lot of talk that the Mahomes’ led Kansas City Chiefs can’t beat Joe Burrow and his Bengals… and so far that has been true. I have a feeling that the Chiefs are going to be pretty tired of being reminded about that all week, and that will likely affect the tilt of their cap come Sunday.

I’m in the last week of my Blended Learning course for the month. Next week I’ll roll right into a security course, followed by another security course. The fact of the matter, I do my best work in the classroom, so staying busy delivering keeps me focused. The second security class is one I am attending in order to earn the certification. It’s a course that has grown in popularity, and at the same time, doesn’t have enough instructors to meet current demand. That’s kind of my modus – find the classes that have the most popularity and the lowest instructor count.

That’s all I have for right now. There’s plenty of other news in the world, and I have an idea by the time my granddaughter is old enough to read this stuff on her own, she’ll be able to ask the AI what happened in the world in January of 2023. I hope she also knows that there was growing excitement in multiple homes in anticipation of her arrival in March.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

It is Friday! The last day of this work week, 20 January 2023.

There is a lot going on in the world this morning that is getting a little bit of my attention, everything from kids shooting teachers, Ukraine and the Russian conflict, the world economy, and various issues orbiting the topics of gender and equality.

Being conscious can be exhausting.

OK, I want to pause and be grateful for my friends who read my blog. I had several friends reach out to me to check on me as the announcement of layoffs at my employer reached the media. Laying off 10,000 employees is a big deal – that’s 5% of the workforce at my company – but the layoffs were spread out around the world. Some divisions were hit harder than others, as new initiatives that weren’t showing promise were shelved, and underproducing areas of the company were seeing steeper cuts. The division I work in, cloud technologies, is a growth sector for the company, so our cuts were not as severe as others. That said, four of my coworkers, two of them close friends, were laid off. It’s sad, but they were given 60 days’ notice, and are being offered career counseling for their next steps.

I still feel sad for them.

I’ve got a session today in another couple of hours, then I get to freeform part the balance of the day. One short meeting close to lunch, and then I get to focus on some presentations and other topics I’m trying to get a stronger grasp on. Learning for me is like swimming for a shark. I need to keep learning, there’s just so much stuff out there that interests me.

I need to grab a low-carb bagel and get my coffee going.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

Thursday morning, 19 January 2023.

Yesterday was a scary day at work. My employer, a pretty good tech company, announced layoffs. That is never fun, and a lot of folks were on edge around the virtual workspace, and later in the day, I did discover a couple of my coworkers that I call friends were laid off. It sucks, but the landing won’t be as bad as you might think. Folks were given a 60-day notice, so responsibilities were shifted away from those that will be back out looking, and resources for finding “what’s next” were being allocated as well.

It still causes folks anxiety. It always does. I’ve been on the receiving end of news like that… and it wasn’t just me at the time, it was everybody in the company – a training company I worked for shut their doors forever – and there sure as heck wasn’t a 60-day notice – I don’t think I received my last paycheck at all.

I am in a better place today than I was in December of 2002, that is for sure.

I’m back in my virtual classroom here in another couple of hours, today talking about Platform as a Service, focusing on web & mobile application support, Docker containers, and Kubernetes orchestration. A lot of information to cover in two hours, and I try to get through it with a little room to spare for questions at the end.

I think that’s going to do it for me this morning. I’ve got a few things to look over before my discussion with learners, so getting this in the can will give me a moment or four to organize my thoughts.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

I hope you are well this morning. It is 18 January 2023, a warmer-than-average (39 degrees F) Wednesday morning, the sun still hiding below the eastern horizon at 5:52 AM.

I get up early.

OK, a recap from yesterday – I have some sort of winter cold, and yesterday I was sneezing and my nose was running at a pace Usain Bolt would be challenged to rival. I put lotion on my nose and upper lip to medicate my skin, left dry by constant contact and abrasion from Kleenex tissues.

Last night was a big rivalry game in the Big 12, with the #2 ranked Kansas Jayhawks traveling to nearby Manhattan, Kansas to take on the surprising #11 ranked K-State Wildcats. It was a pretty wild affair with K-State starting hot and KU starting cold. K-State at one point had a 14-point lead, but KU fought back to make it a competitive contest. It was tied at the end of regulation, but with three starters fouled out, overtime was a challenge. KU played well, and almost pulled it out, but eventually fell 83-82 on the road. We’ll get to host the Wildcats on the 31st at Allen Field House, and I’m fairly confident KU will not get swept.

I’ve been thinking about the word “validation”, and I’m coming to terms with the possibility/probability that much of what I have done in the past has been in pursuit of validation – I wanted to be accepted. Whether it was participation in theater, football, or track & field, a lot of what I have done over the years has been tools to seek acceptance. Now I find myself accepting that, but now I’m focusing on the “why”, and what I can do to validate from within – it’s not that important that others accept me, but it is absolutely necessary for me to accept myself.

More stuff to think about…

On that note, I’m going to get this in the can.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

Hello. Today is 17 January 2023, and at 5:54 AM, I am up, awake, and considering my coffee options for the morning. I’m back in my virtual classroom discussing Infrastructure as a Service in about two hours – ok, truth – class starts in two hours, and I’ll be in the virtual classroom in another hour. I’m always in early, just to get things ready and make sure all of the services are available. Just one of the many ways I’m a little different.

And I am. A little different, that is.

As I have shared with anybody that reads this (and I am thankful for you), I’m not drinking this month, participating in a dry January until January 29, which is my late dad’s birthday. Yes, I know January has two more days beyond the 29th, but I’ll have made my point by then.

Not drinking for a month is a wonderful opportunity for introspection, and I’ve been engaged in some. I’ve had some interesting conversations with my wife and son about the way I act and react in certain situations, and the conversations will serve as fuel to take me a little further down the road to self-awareness. I’ve noticed some tendencies, and my wife and son agree that I should look a little further into the root causes and treatment for what appears to be attention deficit disorder. It’s probably no surprise to anyone that knows me recognizes that I’m wired a little differently.

Watching the news with Lisa and the dogs. Lisa is focused on the news, dogs are more interested in attention and lap time. The current story is about a Republican candidate in Albequerque who, after losing his election last fall, hired gunmen to shoot at the homes of Democrat politicians.

Only the best people, right?

More stories about Nepal and Ukraine. All about bad things happening in the world. Might be time for me to focus on breakfast.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

It is not your average Monday, the 16th day of January 2023. Today is also the Martin Luther King holiday in America, and I think today would be a good day to focus on Diversity and Inclusion. I’ll be spending a portion of my day reading books on the subject.

I’ve also decided today will be a day to look at my Twitter feed. Another friend on social media -a longtime professional colleague – noted in her latest post on Facebook that she is getting a lot more spam promoting unsavory content on Twitter – more unwelcome ads spanning a horizon of distasteful topics, including porn and racist content. Time to shake the banhammer and block those folks who have a less than helpful intent.

This past weekend, the NFL playoffs got underway, and there is still a wildcard game tonight between the Dallas Cowboys and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I might watch it just to see… I’m not a fan of either team, to be honest, and I don’t think either team has a snowball’s chance of making it to the Super Bowl – I think the Philadelphia Eagles are the class of the NFC. At this point, Tom Brady is kind of a circus sideshow rather than the headliner in the center ring. The Chiefs will play host to the Jacksonville Jaguars on Saturday afternoon.

I’ve got some stuff to think about today. I want to be a better human being. I want to live a life that embraces diversity and inclusion. I want to be the kind of guy that people say, “Hey, he’s a good guy”. I hope people think I’m part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

And I have no control over what people say about me – all I can do is what I think is the right thing in any given situation, and hope that the net result is positive. I hope to be judged not by the color of my skin, but by the content of my character, to paraphrase Dr. King.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

It is Friday! End of the work week, the beginning of the weekend, and it’s Friday the 13th.

I hope that last line doesn’t prove to be foreboding.

Yesterday was an interesting mix. Sadly, one celebrity died, a woman who was never really going to get a chance to just be herself – Lisa Marie Presley, the only daughter of Elvis Presley, died after having a cardiac event, at 54 years old. She had lost a child to drug abuse a couple of years ago, and I can’t imagine the toll that must’ve taken on an already broken soul. She was raised with fame and fortune, and ultimately, that was her undoing.

Fame & fortune. She was born into it. I can handle fortune. Fame has a different price tag.

Made the mistake of calling out an old friend on a post rife with bovine scatology. He posted something to the effect that right now the conspiracy theorists are “winning” 37-0. I guess I made a mistake by asking him to list them. That sort of challenge was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “How dare you ask me to back up my BS with facts!”.

I think I can get by without him. The guy pretty much put me on a shelf when Trump got elected, so this isn’t some monumental shock.

I spew BS from time to time. I admit it. And if I have facts to back it up, I present it. If there aren’t facts to back it up, I admit that it is exaggeration and hyperbole.

I get it. I’m abrasive. I challenge people. I don’t apologize for hurting people’s feelings as much as I probably ought to… maybe I ought to open every single sentence with, “I’m sorry, hope this doesn’t trigger you, but…”

Yeah, that sounds like a jerk thing to say as well.

I’ll try to do better. Might work out, might not. That friend dropped me on social media, and it will probably not be the last time some GOP conspiracy theorist finds my challenges offensive.

I doubt it will affect my sleep patterns.

I’m going to get out of here and get started with my day. Time to put this post in the can.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.

It is Thursday morning, 12 January 2023, and I hope I had a good rest last night. I know I woke several times in the middle of the night, but I feel like I dropped right back off after I had those nocturnal strolls. I’ll get a feel for the quality of my sleep about 10:30 this morning… until then, we plow.

Every now and then I reflect on why I do what I do. I originally started writing just to get some thoughts down about my life and my experiences. I’m not real big on fame and fortune… ok, that’s a lie… I’m not real big on fame. Fortune is perfectly welcome to set up permanent residence in my bank account. But I have thought about some people I know that pursued fame with mixed results. The problem with drawing attention to oneself is that those folks get out in public and say, “Hey look at me for this cool thing I did”, and the folks that are paying attention are more than eager to point out, “Yeah, you think that’s cool, but these other things you did aren’t that cool”.

I’m not an influencer. Ask me, and I’ll tell you what I think. I don’t provide that opinion as an effort to control anyone else’s life – there’s more than enough people out there that are willing to give you advice, much of it bad, some of it worse. If I think your proposed course of action hurts more people than it helps, I’ll say so. If I think your plan could have a negative outcome, I have a moral responsibility to point it out.

Ultimately, the choice it yours.

Maybe I’m more of a nudger than an influencer, but I’ll do my best to call it like I see it.

I would tell George Santos (look it up, I’m sure it’ll be in the history books one day) to embrace transparency. Be honest about who you are and where you come from. Be honest about your life experiences. If you think a fictional background makes you more appealing, rather than tell lies, change your reality to match the fiction you think is better.

I could tell a lot of people a lot of things. I’m not going to seek them out to say, “Hey, you know what you ought to do…”.

If people want my opinion, I’m here.

I m perfectly fine knowing that 99.9999999% of the world doesn’t really give flying finger of fate what I think. I’ll focus on the 8 people that do.

I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.

Peace y’all.