Good morning… well, “good” might be subjective, but in my time zone, at least the concept of “morning” isn’t subject to debate.
It is 5:53 AM in the midwest, this 24th day of January 2023, one week remaining in the first month of the year.
For a few days now, a word has been at the top of mind – the word “validation”. “Validation” has to do with something or someone being perceived as valid, legal, or acceptable. For me, the word definitely applies to “acceptable”. This is one of those things that I think about when I’m not drinking.
Taking a month off from drinking sends my brain to weird places.
I moved as a kid. When I was four, we moved from Sioux City, Iowa to Topeka, Kansas. Three years later, Omaha, Nebraska. Six months after that, Kansas City, Missouri. One year after that, Salina, Kansas. Three years after that, a move from one part of Salina to another, changing schools, and once again starting over trying to make friends. That move was impactful, as I had transitioned from elementary school to junior high, then between 7th and 8th grade I not only changed residence from living in town to living rural, I went from one junior high to the cross-town rival. One year at that junior high, and I transitioned to high school. 7 different schools in 9 years.
Every time I made a move, I tried to fit it. I said silly kid stuff and did silly kid things to try and make friends. I was seeking validation. In retrospect, I think I did a lot of things to try and get along, whether it was playing sports (modest results) or get involved in theater (great experience, but still very much a “look at me” validation experience).
Whether it was sports, theater, radio, stand-up comedy, or even my current career as a technical trainer, so much of my life has been spent simply trying to be accepted by groups of peers.
These days, I stick to my classes and my work peer groups for the most part. Whether it’s a case of growing up or simply not caring as much, I’ve put much of my need for validation in the rearview mirror. I think these days, at 59, I would rather be honest and say what is on my mind and how I really feel than try to fit in or get along.
But I still have lapses where I focus on trying to make a joke or say something in a particular way to draw attention to myself. Now I am trying to catch myself and check myself before I say something silly.
I know. I’m weird.
But at least I’m thinking about the things I can do to make myself a better person. That doesn’t mean I’ll succeed, but I hope my goals are aligned with something positive – acceptable… valid?
I hope the world is treating you better than you deserve.
Peace y’all.
1 comment
We all seek to fit in one way or another. Sometimes that is by trying not to be noticed. You do fit in you know, with the brainy people. Those of us in the “normal” intellect category know we cannot understand all the places your brain takes you. Thats all. No one fits into all categories.
I think COVID took us into isolation. Some prefer to stay there because of not having to put up with people. Making friends, socializing; takes energy. What is acceptable to say? What is not? Where are my people? We all search unless we give up. And if we give up, we only see the world the way we want to see it and that’s not healthy. So, fight on Bob. It’s a good thing.
I don’t check my email often. I am retired you know.