Day 20,512

It’s Thursday night in rural Douglas County. Lisa is a bit under it, and she has spent part of the evening napping in her recliner, and I am still studying prepping for my next certification exam.

I love what I do. It’s a tremendous honor to be a certified trainer for a good company with tremendous economic and cultural influence. Part of my internal battle is the perpetual paper chase… that chase after the next cert or the next version of the existing cert. I believe in certification, don’t get me wrong, and I’ve built my entire career around getting certified. I spend a great deal of my time helping other people get certified.

My issue is that I tend to get a little worked up about my exams. I don’t do a great job at reminding myself that the worst thing that could happen is that I take the exam again. The thing is, this is stuff I’ve been grandfathered into and I work with everyday. I’ll most likely pass the first time I take this exam with flying colors, but I still have a tremendous amount of anxiety over any certification exam. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s some weird personality disorder that makes me center so much of my identity on my professional self.

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Maybe I need to decompress and detach a little more and a little better. I am not my job, I am not my career, I am not my certifications. I am a trainer, a father, a husband, a son, a brother, and a friend.

I guess I just need to get over myself a bit.

Peace y’all.

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