Day 20,376

It’s Saturday night, a day after after the passing of my dad. I’ve been chilling at the house most of the day, dealing with the reality of recent events. Part of me wants to deal with this whole thing, another part of me wants to watch the opening weekend of college football and just remain oblivious to the things happening around me.

I made a pork loin today, prepped it in the Instant Pot, with a marinade and some additional seasonings. I’ll take that with me tomorrow to mom’s place, along with some buns and some sauce. We’re all taking our turns with food prep. Tomorrow is mom’s birthday, and it’s going to be a birthday unlike the one’s she has experienced since she was a teenager. The last time my dad wasn’t involved in her life on her birthday, she was in high school. Kind of crazy to think about.

I’m still a bit overwhelmed with the whole situation. Might be the reason why I’m trying to just keep putting one foot in front of the other right now. dealing with life one step at a time. I find myself doing the other things, any thing, that distract me from the reality that I don’t want to deal with. My dad is gone. I’m never going to hear him laugh again, or make an inappropriate joke again, or wave at me to let me know that I”m talking too loud and he needs to turn down the volume on his hearing aids again.

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I find myself turning to the things that make me happy. Guitars, tools, ideas. Family.

Enough for now.

Peace y’all.

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