I have a temper.
I do my best to manage it, but sometimes I don’t manage it as well as I probably could, and should.
I don’t like myself very much when I lose it. I get a little loud, I get a little defensive, I get a lot of things that I don’t like about myself.
I do the little things to try and chill out. I breathe, I try to find a place in my mind that is calming, and I work on trying to keep my pulse rate down, as that’s likely to be the most dangerous side of anger for me, that and the likelihood that my blood pressure elevates. Not to a dangerous level yet, but there is a history of hypertension in my family. I remember my grandmother would have epic battles with her blood pressure.
Back to my breathing…
Maybe I’ve had a little too much caffeine today, too.
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I think I’m going to focus on the mental side of controlling my body.
And now, I sit here, and I try to feel a little bit deeper, reaching into my body as much as I can. I definitely had too much caffeine today. I have to giggle a little bit… but at the same time, I think I should feel a little relief recognizing that I need to find a sweet spot when it comes to caffeine. A little bit in the morning to get me up and going. Maybe a little bit after lunch, but having some later in the evening was definitely a step over some line.
And now I need to let it get out of my system or else I won’t be able to sleep.
Peace y’all.
